When I was a little girl, like 7, my mom was the youth choir director at my church. I will never forget this story because it was my first of many lessons in my “fear being my friend”.  My mom had given me a solo to sing in the Christmas pageant at church. She knew I had some raw talent and that I loved to perform but what she didn’t know that at the age of 7 my learned behavior of fear had set in.  For weeks I remember singing in my bedroom to my parents old Elvis records on my Donnie & Marie record player  and performing to my stuffed animals. It wasn’t the singing that scared me it was the standing up in front of people singing that had me in knots. What would people think? Would they like me? Will they accept me? The night of the performance  everything was clicking along to a packed house and up next was the song “Stranger in the Straw” MY SOLO. The piano player starting ticking the ivories and I felt this burning sensation all the way down my throat and I ran out as fast as I could. Sprinted towards the bathroom and threw my guts up. YES my fear had become physical and I let me cookies fly. It was at that moment I knew I  had to make a decision. Was I going to not perform and let the fear win or was I going to get back out there on stage and sing. That night was a turning point for me I went back out there sang my soul out and received a standing ovation. The ovation  wasn’t because it sounded all that great it was that night I showed true control, perseverance and TRUE confidence and that confidence was contagious.



There is no passion so contagious as that of fear. Michel de Montaigne

For most people fear paralyzes them but for truly confident people fear wakes them up! It gets them in the game of their own life.  It stimulates a motivation to learn, grow and get to know themselves better.  It’s a welcomed friend.   Even though our natural instinct is to resist and run from fear, if you push through fear there will always be a benefit on the other side.  Your confidence will stretch, you will be stronger, you will find out what you are made of.  You will get to the point that when you sense fear you will get stronger, more strategic and down-right excited about what is coming. You will begin to recognize the signs that a break-through is coming.  Fear is an indicator you are on the right track.

God allows us to feel fear because it is protective, positioning, motivational and can be powerful. Some of the greatest things have been birthed through fear. God allows us to feel fear because it reminds us that we are human.  You are human and fear CAN be your biggest friend.

People love fear, but for the wrong reasons. If you don’t think people don’t like fear why are horror movies and haunted houses so popular?  The reason we like fear is because it evokes passion, emotion  and feelings.  People like to FEEL fear but fear in most cases is stops them, paralyzes them.  You’ve got to control the fear, use it, control it and not let the fear control you.  Confidence springs from fear. Change your perspective and when you start feeling  fearful about something STOP and ask yourself this question. How can I use this feeling of fear to my advantage?


Here is a list of top ten fears most people have:

1 Fear of public speaking 74 %
2 Fear of death 68 %
3 Fear of spiders 30.5 %
4 Fear of darkness 11 %
5 Fear of heights 10 %
6 Fear of people or social situations 7.9 %
7 Fear of flying 6.5 %
8 Fear of confined spaces 2.5 %
9 Fear of open spaces 2.2 %
10 Fear of thunder and lightning 2 %


 HOMEWORK: Make a top ten list of your biggest fears. Now here’s the tough part do one thing off that list you are afraid of. DO IT AFRIAD! Take one thing that scares the pee out of you and do it. It could be anything. Going back to college, asking a person out, public speaking. Whatever it is just do it and then post and let me know how it goes.Kim xoxo